This is a page from a Handbook called Being Well basics, that I put together a few years ago…….
Love can be an overused or misused word. Many people assume that love can be used to barter, manipulate and discipline. For example the term “tough love” is used mostly when in fact one is acting in a violent, punishing or nasty manner.
A large percentage of people also feel that love is expressed from the mind and so don’t understand or experience true love as a feeling from the essence of their being. They prefer instead to shut this space down and operate from the mind, in a manner that actually comes from without and not from within their True Self.
Being loving to ourselves needs to incorporate self-reflection to see ourselves in our true light currently. Then we may grow more in love rather than paint a picture of love by insincere actions that pertain to quasi-love, without truly feeling love for ourselves or others. We, in fact, generally have a fear of love, especially real love that in its pure essence often incorporates a message of truth, something we may not wish to be challenged with.
We cannot love others completely with integrity if we do not love ourselves and our Creator. Nor can we raise our consciousness without raising our love source, either human or Divine.
To embrace self-love we need to self-assess and look at how loving our actions are. What do I eat and drink? How do I spend my day? Am I following my passions? When was the last time I cried or had a good belly laugh? How do I care for me? How often do I take time to reflect/pray? How often do I avoid speaking truth? When we are not honest with ourselves and not loving ourselves, we are vulnerable to unloving behaviour from others towards us.
To truly love others is not to pander to them, appease them or respond to their unloving demands and expectations of us. It is to speak truth with an open heart in a loving manner, to desist from directing our anger at them or exert demands for their love in return for ours. It is a genuine feeling coming from within our heart/soul. To communicate from an authentic place without a false persona or mask. To give a gift Of or From love without attachments.
After each interaction with someone, whether family, friend, colleague, peer, casual associate or partner, it is valuable to reflect on how loving we were both to ourselves and the other in the interaction and how loving they were towards us. If a lack of loving action is discerned either way, consider what was the cause or attraction for this occurring.
What many around the world call Divine Love I personally refer to as Agape Absolute. It is the Pure Unconditional Love of the Original Supreme Infinite Being and therefore is personally available to ALL, no matter our status, creed, condition or beliefs.
We need to at least be open to receiving Agape Absolute, by breaking down our barriers and resistance, most usually coming from a lack of love of self, an emotion of being unworthy or a false belief that this love doesn’t exist. We can receive this substance of God just as we can receive the love of others, though our freewill to ask is central to receiving Divine Love, as it is never forced on us. It differs from other loves, and is confirmed by its depth, its healing, its exponential enhancement of our own natural/human love; And the FLOW is Eternal.