Monthly Archives: October 2015

Enhancing Harmony and Unity with Allowance

If we are to achieve Harmony it is imperative to look at our control tendencies and abilities to forgive…..following is the page on Allowance from the handbook, Being Well Basics – It’s All About Flow….. I put together early last year….if you would like a copy email

It is surely through allowance that we will come to a state of unity with all our brothers and sisters, across the nations, cultures, creeds and races. Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world”. However, if we are not open to allowance we mainly cannot change.

Allowance firstly sits with ourselves; it incorporates forgiveness and if we are struggling to forgive ourselves we will struggle to forgive others. Contrary to some biblical quotations, the original pure source God from my experience is all forgiving, unconditionally loving and never judgemental, wrathful or punishing. Which begs the question, what are we doing to reduce our wellbeing if we sit in a state of un-forgiveness and deny allowance individually or collectively?

There are Laws of Nature/Universe/Creator that take care of all things done out of harmony with love and truth. This is not to say that bad things don’t happen to good people and certainly they are not to be condoned, while perpetrators do need to take responsibility and feel the harm they have caused.

Being able to allow and forgive and see the innate good within each and every person, is incredibly beneficial, empowering our journey to our ultimate wellbeing (We ALL have some form of injury or error masking said goodness).
We are assured to find our way back to the pinnacle of creation that we are with more ease, through letting go and letting allowance become our reality.

The more we can walk towards this state of sitting with allowance, the more our fear will be challenged and released from us, hence lessening our magnetism/attraction to further fear based experiences. The very experiences which would then need further forgiveness.

I am speaking of adults of a free society when I suggest embracing allowance. Children can certainly be innocent victims of their environment and the emotional and other injuries within it. In fact, when we are denied allowance of lovingly embracing the basic gift of freewill, along with fresh air, clean water, wholesome food and safe shelter, any one of us can at the very least, be restricted in living a full life.

It is possible when fully open to allowance to love even the criminal while not liking what they do or condoning it. A gentleman comes to mind, whose family was affected by a fatal criminal act. He went to speak to the perpetrator as part of a Victim Impact initiative and when I attended a presentation of his not long afterwards, he had forgiven and was loving in his conversation regards the person. This provided an opportunity for all to heal, allowing their wellbeing and personal journey to be enhanced.

We do need to connect with the painful emotion caused by another, feel it fully and release it to be able to forgive, providing allowance for our own and others FLOW towards wellness?

“Non-Forgiveness is like drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die”

Staying Connected

On a daily basis we are attracting emotional triggers whether positive or negative.

The biggest challenge is to stay centred and FEEL when the trigger is negative, whether observing another or directly affecting ourselves, tapping into a suppressed/frozen emotion, or an actual attack even that this trapped emotion has attracted (they act like magnets for more of the same)….there are often No Winners in these situations.

Nothing is by chance, it is always our own or another’s opportunity to FEEL and HEAL….to prevent us adding to an already weighty bundle in most cases.

Excerpts from: The One Thing Holding You Back
(Raphael Cushnir)

What is an emotion?
An emotion is a message via your brain (from the soul/subconscious), delivered to your body as a physical sensation.
Why are emotions so crucial?
Emotions are essential in reaching the greatest possible understanding of who we are and what we want. The more attuned we grow to our emotions, the wiser and more discriminating we become.
Whenever we’ve grown stale, emotions reawaken us. Wherever we’ve grown stuck, they get us moving. With just the simple ability to notice and experience our feelings, daily existence becomes fascinating and vibrant. We shift from lethargic to motivated, from passive to energized.

What does feeling an emotion entail?
Step 1) To experience an emotion, place your attention directly on the sensation it produces in your body.
Step 2) Keep your attention on that sensation until it either dissipates or changes. That’s all there is to it. Really. These two simple steps, however, are often anything but easy. To perform them well, especially at the most difficult times, requires the following shifts in the quality of our attention.

Shift 1) Slow down Feeling time is different than to-do list time. Emotions require us to sync up to their inner flow rather than press our own timetable upon them.
When we do, they not only dissipate the quickest and easiest, but they also reveal great personal insight without any effort whatsoever.
When we don’t, and instead attempt to think our way through a problem too soon, our powers of analysis become completely unreliable. For that reason it’s helpful to heed the maxim “Feel first, think later.”
Shift 2) Get Microscopic At first our internal sensations can seem distant and amorphous. But whenever we observe them up close, in patient detail, they yield the greatest possible rewards.

Emotions may be hot or cold. They may be heavy or light. They may move throughout your body in waves, swirls, or flashes. They may produce internal imagery or sound. They may pass in an instant, or gradually over time. With practice, all these emotional aspects become much easier to sense. These above two steps, along with the above two shifts, make up the 2X2 process for Emotional Connection.

What is Emotional Surfing?
Over time I developed an even easier way than the 2×2 process to describe how to feel. I call it surfing. To understand why let’s look at ocean surfing.
Among the most challenging sports, ocean surfing involves the rare combination of two constantly moving elements. There’s the surfer on the board, and also the wave on which the surfer balances. Each millisecond during which surfer and wave proceed in unison, all is well. But at the first instant of disconnect – wipeout.

When surfing your emotions, the “wave” is your constantly shifting inner experience. The “surfer” is your attention, following the wave up close, in matching motion. There is absolutely no attempt to control the wave or otherwise alter the experience. It’s strictly “Whither thou goest, I shall go.”

In this, however, is a wondrous paradox. The very act of surfing your internal waves without trying to change them is precisely what does change them. Your attention facilitates flow. It creates additional inner space. These two results of emotional surfing – flow and space – allow turbulent waters to storm freely and calm quickly. They also allow you to keep your balance no matter how enormous the swells.

How do thoughts enter into all this?
Thinking can cause you to wipe out while surfing in a variety of ways. The most common ways are distraction, analyzing, and judging. When any of these disturbances occur, it may be a brief or long time before you become aware of them. But at the moment you do become aware, it’s crucial that you recognize the thinking in a neutral way and return to the sensations in your body straight away.
Getting down on yourself for wiping out only creates more tension and makes surfing that much harder. Another way thoughts impact surfing occurs when feeling states kick up painful beliefs about yourself. Say you’re feeling shame, for example. You might then have the thought, “I’m a total loser.”

If you try to banish that belief because it’s unhelpful, it will only fight back harder. And if you decide the belief is correct, and therefore collapse into it, you’ll likewise give it power. Surfing a feeling is completely different from engaging with the beliefs you may have related to that feeling.
Instead, it’s best to notice the thought with a kind of inward bow, a “thank you for sharing,” if you will. Then, with no further engagement, return to the wave of the moment at hand.

Bottom line: surfing the feeling is completely different from engaging with the beliefs you may have related to that feeling. The good news is that the more you feel your difficult feelings directly, the easier it is to be free of harmful beliefs once and for all. In fact, they just disappear all on their own.

These steps are a practical way to emotionally FEEL our way through each day, to save adding to our already suppressed bundle of emotions. Far more effective and enhancing than staying in a state of Denial that they even exist.